Scrumbag

Could Fetu'u Vainikolo be the next Lesley Vainikolo?

Vainikolo, he's awesome isn't he. No, no, not England's Les... he's decidedly average, I'm talking about Tongo's Fetu'u Vainikolo. Even his name means "star" in Tongolese. Maybe Brian Ashton should think about forcing an English passport on him before he toodles off to rugby league?

The other Vainikolo winger (who is no relation to the KFC loving Les, but oddly is a cousin of Daniel Halangahu) is causing a storm in New Zealand hemisphere in his first season of Super 14 rugby, despite the fact that his South Islanders are lodged at the bottom of the tournament standings. The 23-year-old was born in the village of Haalalo in Tonga and moved to New Zealand with his family in 1997 when he was twelve. While his namesake simply failed to get hold of the ball in the Six Nations, Fetu'u spent last weekend scoring a dazzling individual try from 60 metres out against the Western Force in Queenstown.

"When you get the ball you've just got to make the most of it because there are games when you hardly get the ball," Vainikolo told Sportal. Hang on? Hardly getting the ball? That sounds like another Vainikolo!

England to lose to All Blacks in November

Get on the Twickers Ticket Line pronto, as its just been announced that England will play New Zealand in a Test match at Twickenham on November 29.

England's two other opponents in November will be Australia and South Africa, so that'll presumably be three defeats on the spin for 98 year old Brian Ashton's boys.

Oh dear...

Jake White will never coach again after being 'oofed out by the Springboks

Speaking at a book launch in sunny Namibia, the blazer lovin' White said, "I have received many offers to coach in other countries but I have turned them down because I strongly feel that it is tough to coach in a foreign country. You don't know when you are doing the right thing because of different cultural backgrounds. You simply don't know their culture and how they want things to be done."

To make matters worse White doesn't seem happy about his controversial South African successor Peter de Villiers. "I mean, how do you expect the coach to be successful if his appointment did not receive the full appointment of the entire board?" White scoffed, as the anti de Villiers brigade nodded / high fived each other. "It is definitely going to take a big struggle to convince the 50 per cent that does not want you. But it also depends on the support you are going to receive from the other half which okayed your appointment."

I'd love to hear from any Springboks fans out there on what you think about the current situation South African egg chasery finds itself in. Are you a Jake or Peter fan? Or... neither...

Fans' video of South Africa victory parade...

Ah, this clip from a rather screamy Springbok fan has bought back some lovely memories of being nearly squashed to death on London's Regent Street as England paraded the World Cup.

Big shame this parade was in the wrong hemisphere, but if there are any other South Africa fans out there, who'd like to share with us their parade clips please let us know...

Injury List: Bad News For Wallabies

Australia may have thumped Japan - 91 points to a measly 3 - in their opening game of the Rugby World Cup, but it was not all a box of pink fluffies for this Wallaby team.  Mark Gerrard, a star utility back for the Australians, only played 68 minutes in his first game of the tournament before rupturing his knee ligament and being carried off the field.  This sadly means curtains on the World Cup for Gerrard but hopefully not the final call for his rugby career. 

There is no doubt that the Wallaby backline will continue to be able to string some half decent moves together; but Gerrard's presence will still be sorely missed.  Bummer.

Gregan Opts Out Of Autumn Tour

Australia scrum-half George Gregan has confirmed that he will take no part in the Autumn International programme, in order to give himself the best chance of being in shape for the World Cup next year.  Gregan, who has been capped by Australia a world-record 127 times and is the current national captain, believes that missing the punishing eight-game tour will enable him to go into the showpiece event in France in peak physical form.

It is expected that centre Stirling Mortlock will take over the captaincy for the duration of the tour.  Gregan's recent international form has come in for some criticism, but in the eyes of coach John Connolly such criticism is unfair: "I think he's had a very solid year for the Wallabies and has led the team pretty well. Having said that, no-one is guaranteed a place in the team for next year. The tour will be important for a number of players, as will next year's Super 14."  Connolly will name the touring party on October 3.

Graham Henry To Ditch Two-Team Approach

Small-eyed New Zealand coach Graham Henry has revealed that the two-team approach that he has been using to make himself look clever for the past year will be phased out in preparation for next year's World Cup in France.  In order to make sure that the top players are able to recover in time to play a second game in a short space of time, Henry will not be using the approach during the Autumn International programme, so we'll see how big and clever he looks then, won't we?

"It takes a long time to recover and we want to make sure we are doing it right and that we've trialled it before the World Cup. So we will play some players three games in a row," said Henry, whereupon hundreds of people were unable to stop themselves repeating his words in a sing-song, whingey sort of voice in a display of open contempt for one of rugby's most self-satisfied men.

O'Driscoll Backs Aussies Over NZ

Ireland captain Brian O'Driscoll has tipped the resurgent Australian side to beat New Zealand in the forthcoming Tri-Nations tournament.  Having just led Ireland on a largely unsuccessful tour to both countries, O'Driscoll was clearly more impressed by the Wallabies, who comfortably beat an Irish side which twice ran the All Blacks close.  O'Driscoll, already unpopular with many All Black fans after speaking out about the now-infamous Umaga-Mealamu spear tackle, will not have won many friends among that public with his latest statement.

"You have to match New Zealand with muscle power, which the Aussies can, and I'm sure they will be out to turn over the All Blacks.  Added to that, the Aussie backline are probably smarter than New Zealand's," said O'Driscoll.  Certainly the Australian performances so far this summer have been more impressive than those of their great rivals, and it will be interesting to see how things pan out over the coming months.

Jake White will never coach again after being 'oofed out by the Springboks

Speaking at a book launch in sunny Namibia, the blazer lovin' White said, "I have received many offers to coach in other countries but I have turned them down because I strongly feel that it is tough to coach in a foreign country. You don't know when you are doing the right thing because of different cultural backgrounds. You simply don't know their culture and how they want things to be done."

To make matters worse White doesn't seem happy about his controversial South African successor Peter de Villiers. "I mean, how do you expect the coach to be successful if his appointment did not receive the full appointment of the entire board?" White scoffed, as the anti de Villiers brigade nodded / high fived each other. "It is definitely going to take a big struggle to convince the 50 per cent that does not want you. But it also depends on the support you are going to receive from the other half which okayed your appointment."

I'd love to hear from any Springboks fans out there on what you think about the current situation South African egg chasery finds itself in. Are you a Jake or Peter fan? Or... neither...

Fans' video of South Africa victory parade...

Ah, this clip from a rather screamy Springbok fan has bought back some lovely memories of being nearly squashed to death on London's Regent Street as England paraded the World Cup.

Big shame this parade was in the wrong hemisphere, but if there are any other South Africa fans out there, who'd like to share with us their parade clips please let us know...

Injury List: Bad News For Wallabies

Australia may have thumped Japan - 91 points to a measly 3 - in their opening game of the Rugby World Cup, but it was not all a box of pink fluffies for this Wallaby team.  Mark Gerrard, a star utility back for the Australians, only played 68 minutes in his first game of the tournament before rupturing his knee ligament and being carried off the field.  This sadly means curtains on the World Cup for Gerrard but hopefully not the final call for his rugby career. 

There is no doubt that the Wallaby backline will continue to be able to string some half decent moves together; but Gerrard's presence will still be sorely missed.  Bummer.

Gregan Opts Out Of Autumn Tour

Australia scrum-half George Gregan has confirmed that he will take no part in the Autumn International programme, in order to give himself the best chance of being in shape for the World Cup next year.  Gregan, who has been capped by Australia a world-record 127 times and is the current national captain, believes that missing the punishing eight-game tour will enable him to go into the showpiece event in France in peak physical form.

It is expected that centre Stirling Mortlock will take over the captaincy for the duration of the tour.  Gregan's recent international form has come in for some criticism, but in the eyes of coach John Connolly such criticism is unfair: "I think he's had a very solid year for the Wallabies and has led the team pretty well. Having said that, no-one is guaranteed a place in the team for next year. The tour will be important for a number of players, as will next year's Super 14."  Connolly will name the touring party on October 3.

Graham Henry To Ditch Two-Team Approach

Small-eyed New Zealand coach Graham Henry has revealed that the two-team approach that he has been using to make himself look clever for the past year will be phased out in preparation for next year's World Cup in France.  In order to make sure that the top players are able to recover in time to play a second game in a short space of time, Henry will not be using the approach during the Autumn International programme, so we'll see how big and clever he looks then, won't we?

"It takes a long time to recover and we want to make sure we are doing it right and that we've trialled it before the World Cup. So we will play some players three games in a row," said Henry, whereupon hundreds of people were unable to stop themselves repeating his words in a sing-song, whingey sort of voice in a display of open contempt for one of rugby's most self-satisfied men.

O'Driscoll Backs Aussies Over NZ

Ireland captain Brian O'Driscoll has tipped the resurgent Australian side to beat New Zealand in the forthcoming Tri-Nations tournament.  Having just led Ireland on a largely unsuccessful tour to both countries, O'Driscoll was clearly more impressed by the Wallabies, who comfortably beat an Irish side which twice ran the All Blacks close.  O'Driscoll, already unpopular with many All Black fans after speaking out about the now-infamous Umaga-Mealamu spear tackle, will not have won many friends among that public with his latest statement.

"You have to match New Zealand with muscle power, which the Aussies can, and I'm sure they will be out to turn over the All Blacks.  Added to that, the Aussie backline are probably smarter than New Zealand's," said O'Driscoll.  Certainly the Australian performances so far this summer have been more impressive than those of their great rivals, and it will be interesting to see how things pan out over the coming months.