Scrumbag

Saracens use hovercraft to clear the Vicarage Road snow before their Ospreys clash...

It probably says a lot about me, but my favourite moment of the Heineken Cup weekend was a man dressed as a camel riding a hovercraft to clear some snow. Brilliantly the camel driven hovercraft cleared the snow in a jiffy, but I have so many questions about the whole thing.

1) Just who came up with this idea?

2) How did they know it was going to work?

3) Where do you get a hovercraft from at short notice?

4) How did they get it inside Vicarage Road?

5) Why does that camel wear a fez anyway?

If you know the answer to any (ANY!) of those five questions, please, please, please let me know...

Guinness Premiership to ban any future Shaun Edwards type people...

He's bald, he comes from rugby league, he's not Welsh, he's got a billion jobs, and he's not that popular amongst certain people. Ladies and gents... Mr Shaun Edwards!

Wasps and Wales fans should soak up the Edwards lovliness, as a beast like him will never be allowed to be created again. The Guinness Premiership clubs have drawn up a rule which will prevent any of their coaches taking a part-time job with a national side. Does this mean Edwards couldn't switch to England then?

Apparently the rule has been drawn up because Premier Rugby felt that, if a club coach were involved with a national team, from age-group side upwards, it would give them a potential advantage over rivals because they would be in a position to tap up players. Yada, yada, yada...

Six Nations shit lookalikes: Naughty Danny Cipriani and a thatched cottage

Never mind all that stuff he's been up to in night clubs, what's going on with his hair? Such a bouffant barnet is usrley excuse enough to boot him out of the Six Nations? What ever happened to rugby players having either a number one or (if they're feeling dandy) a number two all over?

Wilkinson Vs Cipriani - at last we get to see who is better...

After what seems like centuries of bickering about who should play for England - Wilko or Cipriani - at last they genuinely go head to head tonight.

Under the floodlights, the Guinness Premiership clash between Newcastle Falcons and London Wasps at Kingston Park is going to be fantastic. All eyes will be on who takes control Falcon Wilko or Waspriani. Presumably both will get injured and neither will be available for England on March 8.

Cipriani claims he's more than happy in the shadows right now. Honest. "I watch Jonny training," he's harped recently, "commentating on what's happening, the way he calls the moves, his organisation of players around him. We talk after training, during kicking practice, at the hotel. I want to learn from his experience. He was once in the position I'm in now, a young player trying to break into the national side.”

It'll be interesting to see just how hard the pair are pushing to out do each other tonight...

Is there too much rugby on the BBC?

A big fat 124 old ladies phoned the BBC on Saturday to moan about the three Six Nations matches shown on BBC1 at the weekend. Oddly I think they have a point. With nearly twelve hours of continuous sport shown on the channel, surely it'd be better placed on Sky Sports.

Many rugby fans choose to watch the big matches down their rugby club, in the pub, or LIVE if possible - forcing it down the throats of everyone is pointless. Plus Sky would undoubtedly cover the Six Nations in a far superior way to the Beeb's still trapped in 1992 style.

A BBC statement said: "We are sorry that some viewers felt the BBC1 schedule... contained too much sport. Competition for sports rights has intensified enormously in recent years and since the Six Nations tournament came back to the BBC, there has been a picture of growth in audiences watching our coverage of the sport. This weekend in particular was very exciting for rugby, with the BBC playing host to three Six Nations matches."

Let me know what you think. Is there too much or too little egg chasery on the box?

"We realise that not everyone enjoys watching sport but there is undeniably a large section of our audience who do and as a public service broadcaster, we are obligated to cater for them as and when we can. The audience ratings alone justified our decision to show the three matches, with a combined total of 15 million tuning in."

Why does Jonny Wilkinson insist on talking like a politician?

Dear Jonny's been talking in cliches again. Why can't the man converse like a rugby player rather than a politician? Here's what he's had to say today...

1) Jonny says: “I consider myself to be one of those players who needs a big game, and have done so for the last 67 games."
Jonny means: I thought the Wales game wasn't important and would be easy.

2) Jonny says: “If I didn’t feel that way, then the only saving grace would have been that I’d have slept better on Friday nights."
Jonny means: I'm confused and want to go home.

3) Jonny says: “No game is about trying to hold on to your shirt. It’s about doing the shirt justice for those guys you are playing alongside.
Jonny means: I can't believe I haven't been dropped either.

4) Jonny says: “Playing against the French there is an always an experience of the unknown."
Jonny means: We've done no preparation for this game. Anything could happen.

5) Jonny says: “There is no real reward in running out in a white shirt unless you are going to go there and show who it is who’s wearing it."
Jonny means: Many of my teammates are crap.

6) Jonny says:“Those shirts deserve to be on people who are doing it justice, and that’s what you want to do.”
Jonny means: Not only are many of my teammates are crap, I'm crap these days too.

7) Jonny says: “You realise that after playing this game professionally for 11 years, what’s gone has definitely gone.
Jonny means: I won the World Cup once you know.

8) Jonny says: “You wake up on any match-day morning and it really is a blank canvas, and what you do on that day is the picture you paint on it."
Jonny means: I have run out of things to say.

9) Jonny says: “You can try and bring stuff with you from the past, but to be honest, it holds no real water."
Jonny means: I want to go home.

10) Jonny says: “It’s a new start every time, and I do think we are building towards something."
Jonny means: Please leave me alone.

What was the greatest ever Six Nations try?

John Inverdale wants to know - and who am I to deny such a cold looking fella from finding out...

Had to sell your car to buy tickets on eBay? Get the bus to the Six Nations...

Thanks to our suitcase stuffing buddies at the brilliant "Blokes On Tour" travel site Lost Weekend for pointing this out to us... it might just save you a headache or two. If you're lucky enough to have a Six Nations ticket in your mitts, you'll have probably noticed that the budget airlines and train prices have rocketed through the roof to cash in on the traveling egg chasers. Cue (forget about that recent crash please) bus folk National Express (remember that Divine Comedy song instead... actually don't it was annoying).

Anyway the bus folk are offering dedicated bus services to a number of the matches, including France vs England in Paris on Feb 23rd, at less than half the price you can expect from budget carriers, tickets to Paris are kicking off near the £40 mark. You can also ship back a cellar full of wine with National Expresses generous baggage allowance. Or an asylum seeker cunningly dressed as a large bottle of wine, if you're that way inclined. And we promise (we can't promise, but we "bet") the bus won't break down and you have to push it in a comedy fashion like in this picture...

Soccerball Tactics 101: Mugging the Ref

Once in a while, Scrumbag likes to remind itself why chasing an oval ball around like a demented Labrador beats the pants off the more popular round ball version of footy. This week, we focus on respect for the game officials. It's the future I tell you, etc. etc.

GOLANUL IONEL GANEA
Uploaded by megasport

We particularly enjoyed the nipple twist and the little punch in the gut, as well as the notable lack of support for the assistant ref from anyone on the pitch - including the referee. The cheek of it, waving a flag!

Munster boss Declan Kidney tips Llanelli Scarlets for the Heineken crown

First in the queue to congratulate and talk up Llanelli Scarlets was Munster fly half Ronan O'Gara, now Munster head coach Declan Kidney has stepped forward to tip Llanelli for the Heineken Cup title. "Llanelli have won seven out of seven in Europe this season. They have momentum and they are brimming with confidence," he said.

"They are a skilful side, and while there are still six other good teams left in the tournament, I wouldn't put them too far down the betting list. They have the ability to win it."

 

As the first side to qualify for the semi finals of the Heineken Cup, Llanelli can sit back and watch this weekend's action and see who they'll come up against in the penultimate round of games. Llanelli will play the winner of tomorrow's Leicester Tigers vs. Stade Francais game. Considering Llanelli have something of a dark history concerning Leicester in this competition, I'd expect fireworks if the East Midlands side can beat the Paris fancies on Sunday.

Six Nations shit lookalikes: Naughty Danny Cipriani and a thatched cottage

Never mind all that stuff he's been up to in night clubs, what's going on with his hair? Such a bouffant barnet is usrley excuse enough to boot him out of the Six Nations? What ever happened to rugby players having either a number one or (if they're feeling dandy) a number two all over?

Wilkinson Vs Cipriani - at last we get to see who is better...

After what seems like centuries of bickering about who should play for England - Wilko or Cipriani - at last they genuinely go head to head tonight.

Under the floodlights, the Guinness Premiership clash between Newcastle Falcons and London Wasps at Kingston Park is going to be fantastic. All eyes will be on who takes control Falcon Wilko or Waspriani. Presumably both will get injured and neither will be available for England on March 8.

Cipriani claims he's more than happy in the shadows right now. Honest. "I watch Jonny training," he's harped recently, "commentating on what's happening, the way he calls the moves, his organisation of players around him. We talk after training, during kicking practice, at the hotel. I want to learn from his experience. He was once in the position I'm in now, a young player trying to break into the national side.”

It'll be interesting to see just how hard the pair are pushing to out do each other tonight...

Is there too much rugby on the BBC?

A big fat 124 old ladies phoned the BBC on Saturday to moan about the three Six Nations matches shown on BBC1 at the weekend. Oddly I think they have a point. With nearly twelve hours of continuous sport shown on the channel, surely it'd be better placed on Sky Sports.

Many rugby fans choose to watch the big matches down their rugby club, in the pub, or LIVE if possible - forcing it down the throats of everyone is pointless. Plus Sky would undoubtedly cover the Six Nations in a far superior way to the Beeb's still trapped in 1992 style.

A BBC statement said: "We are sorry that some viewers felt the BBC1 schedule... contained too much sport. Competition for sports rights has intensified enormously in recent years and since the Six Nations tournament came back to the BBC, there has been a picture of growth in audiences watching our coverage of the sport. This weekend in particular was very exciting for rugby, with the BBC playing host to three Six Nations matches."

Let me know what you think. Is there too much or too little egg chasery on the box?

"We realise that not everyone enjoys watching sport but there is undeniably a large section of our audience who do and as a public service broadcaster, we are obligated to cater for them as and when we can. The audience ratings alone justified our decision to show the three matches, with a combined total of 15 million tuning in."

Why does Jonny Wilkinson insist on talking like a politician?

Dear Jonny's been talking in cliches again. Why can't the man converse like a rugby player rather than a politician? Here's what he's had to say today...

1) Jonny says: “I consider myself to be one of those players who needs a big game, and have done so for the last 67 games."
Jonny means: I thought the Wales game wasn't important and would be easy.

2) Jonny says: “If I didn’t feel that way, then the only saving grace would have been that I’d have slept better on Friday nights."
Jonny means: I'm confused and want to go home.

3) Jonny says: “No game is about trying to hold on to your shirt. It’s about doing the shirt justice for those guys you are playing alongside.
Jonny means: I can't believe I haven't been dropped either.

4) Jonny says: “Playing against the French there is an always an experience of the unknown."
Jonny means: We've done no preparation for this game. Anything could happen.

5) Jonny says: “There is no real reward in running out in a white shirt unless you are going to go there and show who it is who’s wearing it."
Jonny means: Many of my teammates are crap.

6) Jonny says:“Those shirts deserve to be on people who are doing it justice, and that’s what you want to do.”
Jonny means: Not only are many of my teammates are crap, I'm crap these days too.

7) Jonny says: “You realise that after playing this game professionally for 11 years, what’s gone has definitely gone.
Jonny means: I won the World Cup once you know.

8) Jonny says: “You wake up on any match-day morning and it really is a blank canvas, and what you do on that day is the picture you paint on it."
Jonny means: I have run out of things to say.

9) Jonny says: “You can try and bring stuff with you from the past, but to be honest, it holds no real water."
Jonny means: I want to go home.

10) Jonny says: “It’s a new start every time, and I do think we are building towards something."
Jonny means: Please leave me alone.

What was the greatest ever Six Nations try?

John Inverdale wants to know - and who am I to deny such a cold looking fella from finding out...

Had to sell your car to buy tickets on eBay? Get the bus to the Six Nations...

Thanks to our suitcase stuffing buddies at the brilliant "Blokes On Tour" travel site Lost Weekend for pointing this out to us... it might just save you a headache or two. If you're lucky enough to have a Six Nations ticket in your mitts, you'll have probably noticed that the budget airlines and train prices have rocketed through the roof to cash in on the traveling egg chasers. Cue (forget about that recent crash please) bus folk National Express (remember that Divine Comedy song instead... actually don't it was annoying).

Anyway the bus folk are offering dedicated bus services to a number of the matches, including France vs England in Paris on Feb 23rd, at less than half the price you can expect from budget carriers, tickets to Paris are kicking off near the £40 mark. You can also ship back a cellar full of wine with National Expresses generous baggage allowance. Or an asylum seeker cunningly dressed as a large bottle of wine, if you're that way inclined. And we promise (we can't promise, but we "bet") the bus won't break down and you have to push it in a comedy fashion like in this picture...

Soccerball Tactics 101: Mugging the Ref

Once in a while, Scrumbag likes to remind itself why chasing an oval ball around like a demented Labrador beats the pants off the more popular round ball version of footy. This week, we focus on respect for the game officials. It's the future I tell you, etc. etc.

GOLANUL IONEL GANEA
Uploaded by megasport

We particularly enjoyed the nipple twist and the little punch in the gut, as well as the notable lack of support for the assistant ref from anyone on the pitch - including the referee. The cheek of it, waving a flag!

Munster boss Declan Kidney tips Llanelli Scarlets for the Heineken crown

First in the queue to congratulate and talk up Llanelli Scarlets was Munster fly half Ronan O'Gara, now Munster head coach Declan Kidney has stepped forward to tip Llanelli for the Heineken Cup title. "Llanelli have won seven out of seven in Europe this season. They have momentum and they are brimming with confidence," he said.

"They are a skilful side, and while there are still six other good teams left in the tournament, I wouldn't put them too far down the betting list. They have the ability to win it."

 

As the first side to qualify for the semi finals of the Heineken Cup, Llanelli can sit back and watch this weekend's action and see who they'll come up against in the penultimate round of games. Llanelli will play the winner of tomorrow's Leicester Tigers vs. Stade Francais game. Considering Llanelli have something of a dark history concerning Leicester in this competition, I'd expect fireworks if the East Midlands side can beat the Paris fancies on Sunday.

Munster's Ronan O'Gara says Scarlets deserved their win

Munster's fly half Ronan O'Gara has admitted that Heineken Cup champions Munster couldn't quite match the desire of the Llanelli Scarlets in last night's Heineken Cup quarter final at Stradey Park. He told the BBC: "Llanelli brought a great intensity to the game, and they had a hunger we couldn't match. There were also crucial scores before half-time," he added, referring to Munster going 17 points down before the break.

"We tried hard, but our execution was poor at times. We turned over the ball, and we weren't as sharp as we could have been. It is going to be a long few days now.The great thing about this team is we win and lose together. We will have to reassess now, and if we are made of stern stuff we will come back. If we are not, then we won't."

It is understandable that Munster didn't quite have the desire of Llanelli, what with them being perhaps the last of the great European teams not to win the title. The smart money is on Llanelli right now...

Llanelli Scarlets 24 Munster 15: Match Reports

Unfortunately, due to Virgin Media being not very good, we here at Scrumbag Towers are without the Heineken Cup quarter finals on the TV. Sob! So we can't live blog, do proper match reports or anything. Thanks, Virgin, thanks a bunch. As it is, we know thanks to a very slow live blog that Llanelli beat Munster last night, and here's where you can find match reports (from people clearly not with Virgin Media):

Scarlets Official Website
ERC Report
Planet Rugby Report
BBC Rugby Report