Scrumbag

All Black Dan Carter teaches Zinedine Zidane how to kick a ball...

He's injured, he's annoying and he's not as good as he used to be, but Dan Carter is still a massive figure in world rugby. Which is why he'll be wanting you to watch this (him pissing around with confused Frenchie Zinedine Zidane) instead of his nasty judo tackle in the Super 14s.

The Kiwi press are gagging for the book to be thrown at Carter after a naughty leg-throw tackle on Hurricanes back Tane Tu'ipulotu.

Carter extended a leg to throw Tu'ipulotu to the ground and paid a heavy price. Reports suggest Carter unleashed a judo chuck to bring Tu'ipulotu down as the Hurricanes mounted pressure. Ironically he snapped his own leg in the process. Owzer! Cue a flash back to happier times with the greatest footballer of a generation to ease the pain...

Could Fetu'u Vainikolo be the next Lesley Vainikolo?

Vainikolo, he's awesome isn't he. No, no, not England's Les... he's decidedly average, I'm talking about Tongo's Fetu'u Vainikolo. Even his name means "star" in Tongolese. Maybe Brian Ashton should think about forcing an English passport on him before he toodles off to rugby league?

The other Vainikolo winger (who is no relation to the KFC loving Les, but oddly is a cousin of Daniel Halangahu) is causing a storm in New Zealand hemisphere in his first season of Super 14 rugby, despite the fact that his South Islanders are lodged at the bottom of the tournament standings. The 23-year-old was born in the village of Haalalo in Tonga and moved to New Zealand with his family in 1997 when he was twelve. While his namesake simply failed to get hold of the ball in the Six Nations, Fetu'u spent last weekend scoring a dazzling individual try from 60 metres out against the Western Force in Queenstown.

"When you get the ball you've just got to make the most of it because there are games when you hardly get the ball," Vainikolo told Sportal. Hang on? Hardly getting the ball? That sounds like another Vainikolo!

Further proof Borat mankinis and rugby can mix

Earlier we published outrage that the Kiwi authorities plan to ban Borat style mankinis from rugby matches.

I think now I know why. Here's frankly dazzling footage of a French man taunting the Kiwis in a fine Borat mankini example. It was filmed outside the Millenium stadium just before France Vs All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup Quarter Final.

Proof Borat, mankinis and rugby can mix...

Earlier, I reported the tragic news that New Zealand have banned the wearing of Borat style mankinis at rugby matches. Tragic.

Here then is proof for our daft buddies on the other side of the world that Borat thongs and rugby can in fact mix. Here, a women's rugby match was livened up with a little Borat thong action. Quite moving, and if you've witnessed further Borat mankini action in rugby please let me know...

Haka hunt: Fat kid with afro gets it all wrong

Our search to find the worst attempt at a Haka resumes. Today we've unearthed a devilish brute of a fella, with startling hair, and no real ability to dance like a Kiwi warrior. It's a truly awful Haka.

If you've seen, or heaven forbid, done worse, please let me know

Further proof Borat mankinis and rugby can mix

Earlier we published outrage that the Kiwi authorities plan to ban Borat style mankinis from rugby matches.

I think now I know why. Here's frankly dazzling footage of a French man taunting the Kiwis in a fine Borat mankini example. It was filmed outside the Millenium stadium just before France Vs All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup Quarter Final.

Proof Borat, mankinis and rugby can mix...

Earlier, I reported the tragic news that New Zealand have banned the wearing of Borat style mankinis at rugby matches. Tragic.

Here then is proof for our daft buddies on the other side of the world that Borat thongs and rugby can in fact mix. Here, a women's rugby match was livened up with a little Borat thong action. Quite moving, and if you've witnessed further Borat mankini action in rugby please let me know...

Haka hunt: Fat kid with afro gets it all wrong

Our search to find the worst attempt at a Haka resumes. Today we've unearthed a devilish brute of a fella, with startling hair, and no real ability to dance like a Kiwi warrior. It's a truly awful Haka.

If you've seen, or heaven forbid, done worse, please let me know