Brian Ashton promises to make England more exciting

Rattled by revelations that his face has appeared on a piece of toast, England gaffer Brian Ashton has nervously said changes are going to be made to the way England play (and yes, this decision was made due to the shock of the toast). Yes, it's going to get a whole lot more exciting watching England, but oddly that's not because Ashton's going to play Lucy Pinder at the back. No it's because he's going to change the way England play... at last! Honest.

"The side will change, out of necessity as well as preference, but how long will it take? That's a question without an answer," he told the Independent, still shaking. "All I know is it can't be done at the flick of a switch."

"The longer I spend in coaching, the more I'm convinced that the ability to adapt is absolutely central to top-level success," he continued. "I'm not simply talking about reactive adaptability - the capacity to take the right course of action when your opponents do something you didn't expect them - but what I call proactive adaptability, which is much more difficult to achieve."

"To my way of thinking, only the very best sides can play at a certain pitch, then suddenly explode for 20 minutes, leaving everyone thinking: 'where did that come from?' The trigger for it is something we all want to find, and I believe it comes from a coach breeding in his players a massive confidence in their ownership of the game."

So what do you think about the 98 year old's comments? Is this the dawn of a bright new era for England, or is he just providing excuses before he churns out more of the same...