Who would win in a fight about Brian Ashton's credentials?

Another day, another row about whether Brian Ashton has got what it takes to carry on with England. Today Dean Richards has been sticking his size 20 boots into the mix, so who would win if the Ashton debate turned into an actual fight instead of just a war of words ?

Pro Ashton:
Dean Richards - the double hard Harlequins director of rugby is calling for all the players who doubt Ashton to be banned from the country. Now that's fighting talk!
Phil Vickery - The England captain says, Ashton's impact on the side was huge, and you get the impression he'd be willing to lay down his life for the gaffer.

Anti Ashton
Mike Catt - Has moaned like a little girl about Ashton since the World Cup
Ali Catt - admittedly she's done nothing, but any excuse to post her name on the internet is good with us.
Lawrence Dallaglio - said Ashton's team were like a "pub team". A pub team that he was part of mind.
Rob Andrew - if he was going to back him 100% surely he would have done so by now?
Paul Ackford - still moaning in the press about Ashton.
Jeff Probyn - just like Ackford.
Martin Johnson - surely if there was a hint that he might get the job, he'd weigh in with the final blows.

THE FIGHT!
Well despite the fact Dean Richards is still harder than a binbag full of rhinos the pro-Ashtons would struggle. We're guessing Ashton himself isn't much of a fighter, and with Catt's ever sturdy foot doing a solid bit of kicking, the anti-Ashtons would be cracking bones quicker than you could say... bundle!