Scrumbag

Scrumbag lookalikes: John Smit and Josh Hartnett

One just ran around like a headless chicken in the World Cup, the other ran around like a headless chicken in cult movie Black Hawk Down...

Oooh, get us with the headless chicken remark. Okay, we don't really mean it (we do!), we're just bitter (we're not, he's over-rated). Seriously he's a good player (no he's not, he's rubbish! Stop deleting our comments!).

Iranian women take up rugby... let's face it, they could probably beat Wales right now

When you think of Iranian women, you probably have a slightly stereo-typed thought of a Dorris in a burka. But just look at this, it brilliant. Seems egg chasing really is global game now, and lets hope Iran make the 2011 World Cup.

PS sorry about the Wales bashing in the header, it's just too easy right now...

Does Mike Catt secretly long to be Money Mike Katt?

As Naughty Mike Catt stands by his accusations that Brian Ashton was useless at the World Cup, you can't help but be cynical. Surely this ongoing bad mouthing is just a desperate plea to boost book sales and get rich. We have a sneaking suspicion Mike Catt, secretly wants to become rich enough to buy enough fur, bling and glitz to be compared to his namesake Money Mike Katt (as featured in this YouTube video).

So what do you think of Mike Catt's thurst for riches? Is he out of order? Let us know with your comments...

Poll of the day: should there be a ban on southern hemisphere players in England?

French rugby boss wants to ban Australians from England

For most men, think "young Australian working in England" and you'll picture this. A busty barmaid leaning over your bar to pull you beer while you stare at her for far too long to be healthy. But in truth you don't have to walk into a Walkabout pub to know that there's billions of Kiwis, Aussies and South Africans in England - there's loads of them on our rugby pitches too, and most of them are pretty damned good at chasing eggs.

However, now one French man wants to stop them. His name is Bernard "Call Me Bernie" Lapasset and he's the new man at the top in World Rugby... he takes control of the International Rugby Board in the new year.

Controversially he wants to ban folk from "down under" from Europe. He claims letting southern hemisphere folk come here and play rugby for cash damages our game. But do you agree with his rant, or is he an onion chomping surrender monkey who's still living in 1971?

Fans' video of South Africa victory parade...

Ah, this clip from a rather screamy Springbok fan has bought back some lovely memories of being nearly squashed to death on London's Regent Street as England paraded the World Cup.

Big shame this parade was in the wrong hemisphere, but if there are any other South Africa fans out there, who'd like to share with us their parade clips please let us know...

Mike Catt's book in 56 words, so you don't have to buy it...

Love or hate Brian Ashton, Mike Catt's apparent cashing in on Ashton's woe to increase his book sales is pretty low. So, to stop you having to splash out £13.99 on England hero Catt's slightly immoral book, we've summed it up for FREE. Surprisingly it only took 56 words...

"I was born in South Africa [bla, bla, bla], rugby was banned there [yada, yada, yada], so I played for England [bla, bla, bla]. I married someone called Ali [etc, etc, etc,] everyone laughed at her silly name [bla, bla, bla] then I won the World Cup [yada, yada, yada]. Despite being older than Maggie Thatcher I then played in another World Cup [bla bla bla], we did really well but didn't win. The En d."

Image: Getty

Could rugby learn anything from Wembley's American Football freakshow?

From watching yesterday's New York Badasses and Miami Dolphins trying to play their own daft version of egg chasing we've come to a few conclusions.

1) We don't understand Amercian football.

2) NFL is the slowest God damned sport in the world -literally nothing happens

3) Americans don't know how to handle English mud

and, 4) Maybe rugby could learn a trick or two from the seemingly hideous, but hugely glitzy NFL corportate machine.

During this post World Cup period with every Tom, Dick and Prince William firmly plonked on the rugby bandwagon, is it time to make sure they stay on it this time.

Apparently 100,000 people applied for Wembley tickets to watch a game most of them probably didn't know all the rules for. That's pretty remarkable figures. These are the kind of people who like their sport to include big foam hands they can spend £50 on, team coloured hotdogs that they'll eat even if their team plays in blue / lime green, and cheerleaders, hot and glorious cheerleaders dancing around when there's a break in play.

Would you like to see some of that in rugby to make sure the masses and the cash stay in the sport, or would you rather die than let your favourite sport turn into a corporate franchise like NFL? As ever, let us know with your comments...

The 10 reasons Jake White should be the next England coach

1) He just won the World Cup. That's never a bad thing to have on your CV.

2) The fact his name is so similar to Jack White, will give England fans the excuse to do a White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" chant. Doo-do-do-do-da-dooo-dooo will sounds awesome ringing around twickers.

3) His contract runs out in December so he's genuinely available.

4) He wants the job. "England have a rugby culture," he told The Guardian today. "They have played in three World Cup finals out of six, so there are a lot of things going for them."

5) He has a history of bringing through youth - something England need NOW!

6) He gives instant success. Despite South Africa being in turmoil when he took over, he won 69% of their tests in his first year as coach

7) He looks stupid in that gold and green blazer. He needs some kind of nylon tracksuit with a massive O2 logo splashed all over it to look "street" and England can provide that for sure.

8) He created the most successful South African team at home in the history of Springbok rugby.

9) In 2005 his team hit 134 past Uruguay. Now that kind of thing would be fun to watch.

10) He's not Brian Ashton, he's has nothing to do with England's 2003 team - it'll be the right kind of clean slate.

So what would you think of Jake White taking the controls of England? Let us know what you think with your comments...

Image: Getty

Who would win in a fight about Brian Ashton's credentials?

Another day, another row about whether Brian Ashton has got what it takes to carry on with England. Today Dean Richards has been sticking his size 20 boots into the mix, so who would win if the Ashton debate turned into an actual fight instead of just a war of words ?

Pro Ashton:
Dean Richards - the double hard Harlequins director of rugby is calling for all the players who doubt Ashton to be banned from the country. Now that's fighting talk!
Phil Vickery - The England captain says, Ashton's impact on the side was huge, and you get the impression he'd be willing to lay down his life for the gaffer.

Anti Ashton
Mike Catt - Has moaned like a little girl about Ashton since the World Cup
Ali Catt - admittedly she's done nothing, but any excuse to post her name on the internet is good with us.
Lawrence Dallaglio - said Ashton's team were like a "pub team". A pub team that he was part of mind.
Rob Andrew - if he was going to back him 100% surely he would have done so by now?
Paul Ackford - still moaning in the press about Ashton.
Jeff Probyn - just like Ackford.
Martin Johnson - surely if there was a hint that he might get the job, he'd weigh in with the final blows.

THE FIGHT!
Well despite the fact Dean Richards is still harder than a binbag full of rhinos the pro-Ashtons would struggle. We're guessing Ashton himself isn't much of a fighter, and with Catt's ever sturdy foot doing a solid bit of kicking, the anti-Ashtons would be cracking bones quicker than you could say... bundle!