The Kiwi Column: Clive Would Be Proud

The All Blacks spilled a lot of pill in their pool test against Scotland on Sunday and no sooner did the dust settle but the excuses started pouring out from the NZ camp in what is reminiscient of those old post-match press conference grumblings from the grand poohbah of them all, Clive Woodward.

The main conspiracy is that the canny Scots changed their jersey before the game to play in a very similar grey/navy strip uniform that caused great confusion on the pitch (and the attack of butterfingeritis that plagued the New Zealanders throughout the game).  The All Black camp is hinting (but hasn't gone so far as to allege) it was a stitch-up and have sought reassurance from the IRB that this will not happen again.  Whether Frank Hadden is really that bright remains to be seen, but paranoia is beginning to seep into All Black circles now, with a few in the camp also taking potshots at the Welsh and French.

Chris Jack goes on record saying the changing of the strip for the two NH teams into jerseys not dissimilar to the All Black brand has been noted.  "There has been the odd comment and raised eyebrow in the changing shed, but at the end of the day, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so we'll take it on the chin."*

The conspiracies don't stop there.  After a very sub-standard outing by Daniel Carter where the cool Cantab only managed to slot 50% of his goals, the man himself stood up to say after his disappointing efforts, "Replica, my arse."*  The replica in question was of course the Rugby World Cup practice balls that the New Zealanders have been using in training.   Although assured by the IRB that the training and match balls are the same in weight and texture, Dan was having none of it.  And neither were the rest of the NZRFU.  Maybe the French, the Boks and Wallabies have got the proper replicas, you could almost hear their minds ticking aloud.  Maybe they'll all turn up in the black strip if they ever have to face us.  Maybe Suzy the most famous South African waitress in rugby history will make an appearance at the Cardiff Wetherspoons the night before the All Black quarter-final and while whispering something in Richie's ear will slip something in his drink...

There are a lot of what-ifs.  But one thing is certain.  Excuses don't win world cups.  Although it looks like we're giving it a pretty good go.  Again.

**Parts of these quotes have been altered for reasons of sensationalism